Team villains except me

Chapter 542: Kikora Night

Yalinxiu met Altair after dinner. He had spent the entire day at the Rose Mansion playing with the psychiatrist hired by Fianna.

It doesn't resist the efforts made by its parents, which is a concrete expression of their love. They care about it so much and are afraid that it will suppress its emotions in recent events, so they ask a therapist to help it relax.

But in reality, it is not as fragile as they think.

It accepts the world in all its ugliness.

Death itself does not scare Yalinxiu. What Yalinxiu cannot accept is the separation that death represents.

It has met too few people and knows too few words. Even though it feels it has seen many sights, it cannot easily control its life within the most perfect range. If possible, it wants to create a space without gods and natural laws, so that it can be with its parents forever.

Control, possession. These were also forms of love. But Yalinxiu knew it was pathological. Whenever some dark thoughts emerged uncontrollably from the depths of her heart, she would always wonder if they truly belonged to her.

When it was young, it could not tell whether its inner thoughts belonged to it or to its parents. It originally regarded these as its own products, and it felt guilty about it.

All Yalinxiu has ever felt is an obvious, unthinking love. She knows she owns the world, and therefore she willingly accepts the expectations placed upon her by her parents.

Kindness, willfulness, rationality, innocence, freedom, dependence on parents, independence... these expectations from their parents are often absolute and contradictory.

It cannot meet all the conditions, so it feels pain. What is more painful is that it is not a pure and perfect creature. It has many negative emotions. Before it understands that those emotions do not belong to it, it feels guilty for its separation.

When it realized it was imperfect, it began to possess itself. It sought to affirm its own identity. It was created as a mascot, and as such, its function was to maintain the relationships between its guardians. But when it began to develop its own thoughts, and began to say to its own emotions, "You do not belong to me," it began to question its own purpose.

What is it loved for? A child, a friend, or a pet? As a created creature, it naturally loves its parents because its body is made up of their hair, it is an extension of them, and it will never betray them.

But why do they love it? It has been trying its best to satisfy their emotional projection of it, it shows what they want to see, it is happy to do so, it certainly loves them, but the more it loves, the more confused it becomes.

The emergence of this confusion is inevitable.

Because it has no peers, it is a unique creature and no one can predict its growth rate. Its parents don’t know whether its skin turns red because of allergies or fever, nor do they know how to use medicine. Everything about it requires a long period of practical testing and exploration.

Until it realizes that it can sense its parents' emotions, its parents have no way of knowing this.

It does not realize that its parents are a group of young people who still need to patch themselves up, and its parents do not realize that their love is paranoid and irrational.

Love alone is not enough.

Their love is full of protectiveness, but it also prevents Yalinxiu from integrating into society and solving her own problems. Children always have secrets that they cannot tell their parents, and Yalinxiu does not want to disappoint her parents.

What solved this problem?

A legitimate identity. It chose to become a desert cat, it began to align itself with the group, it lived according to the habits of desert cats, it had a reference point. After becoming a desert cat, all its dark emotions, the cold and paranoid parts of its personality, could be resolved by its status as a desert cat. It was still Yalinxiu.

Because it was loved, it chose the species it wanted to be, and it didn't think its guardians would be angry about its decision. It was also because it was loved that it had doubts that could only be resolved by determining its identity.

Later, it slowly understood that no matter how big it grew, even if it became a giant, more mature than its parents, grew old, or became evil, its parents would still love it. They didn't love the "Yalinxiu" they imagined in their minds, the one who would make up for their childhood regrets, but the real Yalinxiu, the one they had watched grow up.

Despite this, Yalinxiu still wanted to be a child who needed their care and attention.

But this doesn't mean it can't accept reality.

The psychiatrist hired by Fianna spent a day with it. Finally, the psychiatrist said, "I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Duna Spider Yalinxiu. I think you're just very strong."

There was one more point, but the therapist didn't mention it. She knew who the owner of Rose Mansion was, and she also understood Yalinxiu's family background. After spending a day with Yalinxiu, she already knew her very well.

She felt that Yalinxiu was like this because she had never lacked love. She had been loved abundantly since birth, and she had never experienced the hardships her parents had endured. Therefore, kindness and love were commonplace to her. She had lost a friend, not a family member. She had very strict standards for her family.

The psychotherapist failed to notice one variable - school education.

Most of Yalinxiu's views on the world come from the college textbooks. The principal of Brown School has a positive view on death and reincarnation, so the teachers tend to give positive guidance when explaining the school.

Therefore, Yalinxiu felt that it would eventually see Mattia again. Although Mattia would not have any previous memories, it was still Mattia's soul.

But this theory does not work on its parents, because it has never had the concept of separation from its parents. It is the baby they care about most. If they leave and they no longer remember it, it will be so sad that it will not be able to live.